Preventive Health Care for Marriage - The Importance of Spending Time Together

Many married couples are so exhausted at the end of the day that they have no time for each other. Weeks and even months may go by without any deep, intimate sharing or time alone.

If you do not fill in your calendar, someone else will. Make it a priority to write in appointments with your spouse. (3) You have to schedule time for one another as carefully as you schedule work, classes, and church activities. This is such an important concept that even God has written us into His calendar. That is why He gave the Sabbath as a special time for us to be with Him.

An important aspect of your planning together also includes setting goals for your marriage. Consider the needs that you have as individuals or as a couple. These may be tangible needs such as further education, paying off debts, saving for a home, or they may be intangible needs such as more personal leisure time, more couple time, or developing better communication skills (Flowers, 1988, p. BE 75). Which needs do you think are the most important for you? How might you and your spouse work together to set goals to meet these needs?

A young wife's mother gave her money for the down payment on a car. Since the money was given to her, the wife decided she would make the decision on what kind of car to buy. Without consulting her husband, she went to a dealership and bought a brand new vehicle. After the downpayment, the financial arrangements still required five years of monthly payments. Needless to say, the husband was not happy about his wife's unilateral decision. There were several implications for the family. The car seats were very uncomfortable for his large size, but, more than this, the monthly payments meant that the wife had to leave their children with a babysitter and find a job outside of the home.

This illustrates the importance of communication between husband and wife. Serious consideration given to her needs and wishes, and consultation together might have led to some alternative solutions that would have created less tension between them and led to a more satisfactory situation for the family.

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Use Responsibly the Gifts of Speech and Influence

Meanwhile praying also for us, that God would open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in chains, that I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak. Colossians 4:3, 4, NKJV.

God has not given talents capriciously. He who knows all things, who is acquainted with each one, has given to every person his or her work. Those to whom He has entrusted much are not to boast, for what they possess is not their own; it is lent them on trial; and the greater the endowment, the greater the returns required. Day by day God is testing men and women, to see whether they will acknowledge Him as the giver of all that they have. He watches to see whether they will prove themselves worthy of eternal riches. The use they make of their precious endowments decides their destiny for eternity.

Of all the gifts that God has bestowed upon His children, none is capable of being a greater blessing than the gift of speech. With the tongue we convince and persuade; with it we offer prayer and praise to God; and with it we tell others of the Redeemer's love. God would have us consecrate this gift to His service, speaking only such words as will help those around us. And if Christ rules in our hearts, our words will reveal the purity, beauty, and fragrance of a character molded and fashioned by Him. But if we are under the guidance of the enemy of all good, our words will echo his sentiments. Watch well your words. Consecrate your gift of speech to the Lord's service; for He will one day require it at your hands.

Every one of us exerts an influence on those with whom we come in contact. This influence we have from God, and we are responsible for the way it is used. God designs that it shall tell on the side of right; but it rests with each one of us to decide whether our influence shall be pure and elevating, or whether it shall act as a poisonous malaria. Those who are partakers of the divine nature exert an influence that is Christlike. Holy angels attend them on their way, and all with whom they come in contact are helped and blessed. But those who do not receive Christ as their personal Savior cannot influence others for good.... Such lose all hope of eternal life themselves, and by their example lead others astray.

Guard well your influence; it is "your reasonable service" to place it on the Lord's side.--The Signs of the Times, January 21, 1897.

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